Quickly Approaching

Greetings! To everyone who has been toying (pardon the pun) with the idea of getting involved with our Christmas party and toy drive this year, the time has come. There are still tons of kids and families to get presents for, and we could use everyone's help. Tell your friends and neighbors and church members and coworkers and anyone else you can think. We need to know by Friday, Dec. 10, how much you want to donate and whether you want to send money for us to shop or if you want to receive information about kids and families for whom you can then shop yourself!

Thank you so much for helping out with this! God is doing great things, and so many new relationships are springing out of this experience.

The Joy of a Life with Children

Today started out in a really challenging way. I spent the morning trying really hard to focus on God’s word in John 3, but for some reason, I just couldn’t seem to get my mind around a lot of it. The more I tried to grasp at it, the farther away from the Lord’s presence I felt. I even tried walking around ACU’s Lunsford Trail while worshiping and praying. Even though it reminded me of a different side of God I hadn’t experienced in a while, ultimately, I was just begging god to help me feel valued, connected and loved.

Fortunately, Jesus granted me the desire of my heart, very shortly after. Initially, that prayer was answered when I got invited to spend some time with Merissa Marlof, a close friend who God’s been drawing my heart deeper and closer to, recently. Later, though, God started answering my prayer in a very different way.

After hanging out with me, Merissa drops me off at Allelon Community’s house, and I’m telling you guys, pure joy awaited me within the walls of this house. Within a split second of my opening the door to the house, Ana and Donavon yell my name at the top of their lungs, leave everything behind and start jumping on me, clinging to me like their lives depended on it. Ana was so stinking excited to see me that she made me feel like the most valuable person on this planet. As soon as she was done hugging me, loving on me and telling me how happy she was to be with me, she passionately launched into explaining to me her and Kristen’s exciting plans to go into the woods and “hunt horses”. Even though there were going to be many colors, she explained, her favorite was going to be the big white one. She absolutely insisted that I join her and Kristen on this wild escapade of theirs. As it turned out, Kristen couldn’t make it, but Wes and Donavon joined Ana and I in trudging down the well worn pathway behind the house, through the field of tall, dead plants. Even though I was excited to see the older guys and girls in the community, my mind and heart were truly sold out to loving and focusing on these children. Between “watching out” for snakes, protecting ourselves with sticks, having Ana lead us all to the horses, desperately trying to calm the kids down so that they wouldn’t run down the hill at 60 mph, singing “old MacDonald,” looking for Ana and Donavon as they pretended to blend in and become one with the shrubs, and finally, hunting imaginary rabbits, Wes and I were trying to love on them and teach these two precious children about what it meant to be obedient and loving, what it looked like to be a noble leader (since Ana was our leader) and what it looked like to look out for each other. Even though we never found the horses or got to hunt them (thankfully), we all had so much fun.

Honestly, it was the highlight of my entire weekend. There’s something about being loved on by children that allows me to feel more joy and affection than I could ever try to relay. One of the things I love most about being a part of the Allelon Community is that I always get to observe the older members of the community handle children, discipline them in the way of the Lord, love them genuinely and teach them wisely. If I am super lucky, I get to sit back and intently observe how the boys try to love and correct crazy Donovan as he runs wild, and actually succeed in doing it, through raising him in the love and wisdom of the lord. My heart really soars, though, when I then get a chance to model what I learn, through getting to handle the children and deal with their mistake or weaknesses, and succeed in showing them love while teaching them about respect and obedience.

If you have any idea what the house is usually like, you’d know that I get that chance a lot, since there are almost always children over there. I’m not a pro at bringing children up, but I am receiving a tremendous amount of joy and love through succeeding at playing with the kids and having them enjoy their time with me, through succeeding at holding them and showing them that I love them, through watching them actually do what I say without any anger or frustration entering the situation and, most of all, through watching them model Christ through their every day actions. For example, I got to see Donavon trying to share his little bit of lunch with Cody Terry today – it is most definitely an image that will linger in my mind for a long time. It’s during times like these, when I get to see the kingdom of God manifest itself within the lives of little ones, that I cannot help but give honor and praise and Glory to our lover and creator.

Being a part of this community has also taught me how much value children really have. They are NOT bothersome nuisances that should be ignored. They are the most life-giving, precious creations on this earth. They desperately want and need love, respect, attention, wisdom in the lord, and most of all, they DESERVE to be taken seriously, not just made fun of or shrugged off. We truly don’t realize how much influence we have in young children’s lives. They are so impressionable, that the most insignificant acts of love and kindness (in our eyes) will still be imprinted within their minds and actions for long times to come.

It was upon sitting down and reflecting on my day at the house that I discovered something: spending time with Kids is becoming one of the primary ways I receive and show love. It’s also becoming an essential part of my growth and maturity process. Thanks to the incredible role models I have at the house, I have started taking children very seriously, giving them a part of my heart and allowing myself to get attached to them. Walls that society teaches us to have built around our hearts to distance ourselves from the hearts of children, are being passionately torn down through community with the guys who are teaching us all to value children. Not only do I allow myself to get attached to kids, but taking them seriously allows me to be intentional and genuine about bringing them up in the ways of the Lord. Also, these creations are taken so seriously by me that they have the power to overwhelm me with love, joy and value when no one else could. Even though having children is not even in my field of vision, I feel so privileged to already be receiving rich, wise and intensive training in raising them with the Allelon community.

Christmas Time is Here!

That's right! The time has come for our second annual Stevenson Neighborhood Christmas Party. Last year's party was a huge success, even though it came together in an impromptu way. It was only ten days from the conception of the idea to the actual party, during which time God provided multiple presents for over ninety kids, as well as an awesome event consisting of games, crafts, face-painting, caroling, and, of course, gift-giving! God is so faithful. You can read all about last year's Christmas party HERE.

This year, we have gotten a bit more of a head start. We began initial preparations over three weeks ago, and we have adapted our system to be more organized, with Family Information Forms and more opportunities for adults and children in the neighborhood to help with the planning and putting on of the party. We are so excited about all the new relationships that will be formed through the whole experience.

We already have over 130 kids signed up for this year's party, and we expect even more before it is all said and done. For those of you who are interested, there are several ways you can be involved with this year's party:

1) If you are in town or feel like coming to town, we would love for you to participate with planning, present wrapping, shopping, cooking, and the actual party itself! Please let us know if you want to be involved in this way. There is a meeting this Sunday, Dec. 5th, at 4:00pm at our house to talk about everyone's roles as the big day approaches. Even if you miss that meeting, let us know, and we will get you plugged in.

2) Please cover the event and all the preparations in prayer. Pray for safety for everyone involved, for God's provision for presents for kids and all the food and supplies for the party. And mostly pray that this will serve as a catalyst for relationships and greater community - life-giving community - will grow in the midst of our neighborhood.

3) You can also help provide presents for the kids or help meet some of the needs of the families during this Christmas season. If you are in town, you can bring toys, games, stuffed animals, clothes, books, CDs, and pretty much anything else that would make a good present for kids ages infant-16 to our house (465 Cockerell Dr., check out the "Come and Visit" page for directions). For friends in more distant places, financial contributions and gift cards would be a huge help! We are partnering with a local church just like last year, so if you would like the tax-write off, you can make checks payable to St. John's Baptist Church. Please send contributions to 465 Cockerell Dr., Abilene, TX 79601. Any excess funds will be used to help restore the abandoned community center in our neighborhood.

We are so excited to see God provide once again this year. Thank you for your prayers and support and for considering how you might be involved!

Children decorating ornaments at the 2009 Christmas party.

Common Prayer Release Party

Hello everybody! We have three very exciting events coming up!

First, this Sunday, Nov. 21 at 4:00pm, we will be having our Thanksgiving potluck. We will handle the meat; everyone else just bring your favorite Turkey-day dish to share. If you can let us know in advance that you're coming and what you are bringing, that would be awesome as well! Go here for our contact info and directions to get to the house.

Also, our annual Stevenson Neighorhood Christmas Party is coming up in just over a month! I will post again in a few days giving you all the details about that and how you can be involved.

Finally, and most urgently, we are hosting a night of prayer, worship and communion to celebrate the release of Common Prayer: Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals by Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove. It will be a sweet night of worshipping our Father and getting to use this awesome spiritual resource for the very first time - in community together! Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!

Here is the info you need:

When: Saturday, Dec. 4 at 8:00pm

Where: Allelon Community House. Get directions here.

What to bring: A heart excited to be in the Father's presence. And if you want to buy the book at a really low cost, bring some cash too.

RSVP: If you are planning on coming, PLEASE RSVP by clicking here and filling out the short form. Those who RSVP will receive free copies of the book (until the free copies run out!)

For more information about the book, check out their website at www.commonprayer.net.

Living in the Sunset

It's seven-thirty on a Friday night, and the sun is beginning its nightly routine, slowly melting into the horizon and forming rivers of red, orange, and yellow. The late light flows through the power lines that run from our house into the distant sky and bathes our red-and-white, wooden frame house in hues that speak of longing and promise. Josh, Emily, and John are the first to feel the outpouring of the sky. They are sitting on the roof and watching that deeply spiritual phenomenon that is the end of a day.

Below them I sit on our home-made picnic table, surrounded by a buzz of activity. Out in the gravel lot under the power lines, kids are doing cartwheels and tossing around a football. Beside me at the picnic table, Anna and Donovan are finger painting with a couple of ACU students. Black and white hands become unrecognizable in the assortment of blues, whites, and greens as they leave hand-prints on construction paper and the hearts of those who are meeting God in the Other.

In the kitchen, Faith and Aaron are finishing up dinner, Lily is washing some dishes from a late lunch, and Conner is keeping his eye on the ice-cream maker, spinning away in its bucket of ice and adding to the din. Soon the artists' table will be returned to its original purpose, and the many miscellaneous conversations about life, love, faith, and struggle happening throughout the house will cease – better yet, will be joined as young and old, black and white, male and female, Christian and Sojourner, poor and rich join hands and give thanks for God's provision and love.

This sun will set, but we will continue to live in the sunset, for we are those called by God to live between the day and the night – citizens of the Kingdom that is here but still coming. When Anna sits on my lap and John learns to forgive his enemy; when I confess my sin to my brothers and from their eyes and mouths receive the forgiveness of Jesus; when Poon recites a poem and Kendrick returns my smile; when I look into the sky – I feel the weight of all God has done and a longing for all these signs around me to reach their fulfillment as God's kingdom finally and fully comes on earth as it is in heaven.

Gardening

Many, many moons ago, we all came to the conclusion that it was about time we started a garden. August came, and we researched some veggies that had a short yield time and did well in cooler weather, cleared a spot in the backyard, borrowed a tiller, and got to it. Kristen bought some great seed out of Vermont, and by September we had seeds in the ground. Lettuce, spinach, squash, zucchini, beets, and bush beans were on their way. All we had to do then was… wait.

I think one of our first thoughts was, “Why pay for ‘fresh’ vegetables when we could grow our own in the backyard, and pay relatively nothing for seed?” And probably right around the same time came the thought of, “How AWESOME would it be?” Aside from the monetary cost and the obvious cool factor that comes along with being a college kid that gardens, there is great value in using the earth that the Lord made and gave us dominion over to sustain ourselves. He made it so we would use it; and at the same time, we are called to take care of it – a point that we oftentimes forget.

So now we have this really cool, small, organic (duh), first shot at a fall garden and initial move towards becoming a little more self-sustainable, a little more simple, and a little more hard-working. We all take turns watering, weeding, and enjoying. Hopefully soon, we’ll have some really good vegetables to enjoy – minus the spinach and beets (they didn’t make it past the first big rain... and I accidentally picked the only surviving beet. Sorry, Wes.). There is something incredibly satisfying about growing something yourself, for you and some good company to enjoy for a meal later. Atleast, that’s what goal we have in mind. I could write for days about the spirituality connected with gardening, nature, and the earth, but instead I’ll let some scripture do it, and encourage as many people as I can to start their own garden.

For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.

In His hand are the depths of the earth.

The mountain peaks belong to Him; the sea is His –He made it,

and His hands formed the dry land.

Psalm 95:3-6

My friends Francis and Vladimir

I was sitting at the picnic table with Vladimir and Kyle while Josh, Faith and Aaron made fried rice and wontons in the kitchen. I've never met anyone who likes to talk about Jesus as much as Vladimir does. His theology is a little unorthodox sometimes, and it always challenges me; but I have never known someone quite as willing as Vlad to obey Jesus unconditionally.

Well, as we sat there together, tantalized by the smell of the delicious dinner in the making, Vlad began to talk about a book he is reading on the life of Francis of Assisi - one crazy dude. First, he sold a bunch of his father's textiles. Then, when his father took him to court, he renounced his nobility, considerable inheritance, and even the clothes on his back, and began to live a life of poverty and charity. He was known for his love of animals and nature, his life of poverty, and his unmatched generosity and compassion. It's like he took seriously the words, "One thing you lack; sell all you have and give it to the poor" or "Don't store up for yourselves treasures on earth...but treasures in heaven."

Vlad said he appreciated Francis' story because of disagreements he has had with his own parents. Vlad and his parents both love the Lord with all their hearts, but they have often disagreed about giving money to the poor. Vlad, in his usual extreme fashion, has a habit of giving money away as soon as he gets it. It is like it burns a hole in his pocket, as if it does not truly belong to him as long as he knows someone is without food or shelter. For Vlad, good stewardship means giving as much money to the poor as possible.

His parents have often expressed to him the need for a little more discretion when giving away his money. You can give away your money, just not all of it as soon as you get it. They make a good point that the intention is wonderful, but that giving must be done with thoughtfulness, discernment, and wisdom.

This conversation raised some interesting questions in my mind. How is "good stewardship" defined in the Kingdom of God? How toxic is wealth for a believer? Can thoughtless giving be destructive? In a world of endless need, how is generosity defined? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave a comment. What do you think about these questions?

I will not attempt to answer these questions here, but I will make a few statements that will hopefully be provocative enough to spark some discussion.

Stewardship

There is a temptation to equate stewardship with good business sense or successful financial planning. The problem is, our ultimate goal is not a successful business or a prosperous 401k or even personal financial stability. In the kingdom, one is called to trust God for his/her daily bread, and money becomes a piece of paper, useful only insofar as we use it to advance the kingdom - loosing the chains of the oppressed, binding up the broken-hearted, proclaiming good news to the poor, ministering to Jesus in his most distressing disguises. I wonder who is a better Kingdom steward: Vladimir or your average elder, selected for his business success and management skills?

Toxicity of Wealth

The story of the Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10) pierces right to the core of this issue. First of all, it is important to note that before asking him to sell his possessions or watching his response to that request, "Jesus looked at him and loved him." So Jesus' love for him is not dependent on his response. His entrance to the Kingdom, on the other hand, is. As much as Jesus loves him, he lets him walk away. Jesus does not call him back and say, "It's okay! Just give ten percent!" or "Wait, as long as everything you have is available for God, you can keep it." He lets him walk away, and he laments how difficult it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom (portrayed in this passage primarily as a present reality). When I talk about this passage with people, it is often drawn back to motivation. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also," so as long as my heart is in the right place, it's okay. But what if Jesus meant, "Look at your credit card statement. Now, where is your heart?"

Of course, Jesus also says, "What is impossible with man is possible with God." But does this mean that God changes the rules of the kingdom so that rich folks can come on in and keep the party going, or does it mean that God is able to free people of the attachment to wealth that made the Rich Young Ruler walk away?

What is it that makes wealth such a barrier to Kingdom life, and why do we think we can enter with all our stuff when the Rich Young Ruler could not?

Harmful Giving

Jesus said, "Give to everyone who asks, and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Okay, but seriously, Jesus, what if the guy is going to buy drugs? What if he is only asking because he lost his job due to irresponsibility? What if I know she is lying to me about her reasons for asking? Do I still give?

I'm not listing these questions in mocking way or to make some point; they are legitimate questions that I struggle with every day. There are a few ways to just avoid them entirely. We could just give to organizations that we trust to dispense the funds with wisdom. We could just not give to anyone, lest we accidentally fund someone's sin or enable their laziness. The problem is, I look in Matthew 25, and every act that Jesus uses for sorting the sheep and the goats is a personal act of compassions, mano a mano. Plus an impersonal act of giving has almost no transformative power in the life of the giver, whereas relationships that are formed across class lines are at the very heart of the kingdom in which the poor are blessed and the first are last.

But then common sense comes back in and says, "If you really care about helping someone and not just getting some spiritual high, you will put a little more thought into it." And that is true also. How can we be faithful to the call of Jesus, neither theologizing away its offensiveness nor taking it so literally that we work against its spirit?

These are hard questions. This is a hard tension. Perhaps in a later post, I will detail some of the things we do to try to manage these tensions, but right now, I want to hear what you think about it. How do you balance this tension as you try to follow Jesus?

Generosity in a Global Village

Do you know any kids in your neighborhood? Imagine that six year old boy down the street comes walking up to you one day as you are out watering the yard. His belly protrudes out from a shrunken frame. He hasn't eaten in six days. His muscles are atrophied from malnutrition. If you don't help him, he will starve. In this situation, would there really be any question about whether you should help him or not?

So then, when our world has shrunk to the point that all we have to do is flip on the TV and suddenly we are aware of millions of neighbors who don't have food or clean water or shoes or homes - when we live in a global village, what does it mean to love our neighbors? Shane Claiborne says, "True generosity is measured not by how much we give away but by how much we have left, especially when we look at the needs of our neighbors."

There is a lot here! I would love to hear your comments, questions, insights and stories.

Summit Class Recording

Hey everyone! A couple of weeks ago, I had privilege of teaching a class at Summit, an annual conference held at ACU. I shared stories about walls that we have seen God breaking down in our hearts and in our community over the past year. Thanks to my brother Rob, the recording is now available online. Just click on the following link:

http://www.allauthors.com/class.html

Worship

Today's schedule looked loosely like the following:
8:00a - Roll off the bunk after cracking lighthearted retort from a groggy stupor towards Wes who prepares breakfast more than...
8:05a - Pancakes
8:30a - Intercessory prayer for neighbors, neighborhood, and other loved ones.
9:00a - Swing by the office for a final run at lesson plans before being nearly late to the class I teach.
10:02a - Be nearly late for the class I teach.
10:03a-330p - Teach and talk, jest and joke with middle school students about causes and effects of both drug abuse and violence
4:00p - Home to make a third attempt (in as many weeks) to finish watching Ed Norton save Liv Tyler and the world as "The Incredible Hulk"
4:05p - Zzzzz
6:00p - Roll off the couch in the office, stumbling instead of standing only to flop and smash into nearly every wall or door on the way to the kitchen.
6:30p - Watch the procession of children march resolutely toward the house.
6:45p - Set up for dinner
6:55p - Corral everyone into the dining room for prayer
7:00p - Hold Donovan by the hand during prayer so he doesn't leap face, preventing disturbing amounts of forehead carpet-burn
7:01p - Remove someone else's cup from Donovan's hand, get him his own cup of water
7:05p - Toss D. over my shoulder in order to slop a spoonful of Speedy Gonzalez into bowl
7:15p - Finally arrive at the table, D. on knee placing a straw cornucopia bowl from his head to mine back to his on to Conner's finally back to his.
7:25p - After many surprisingly successful attempts at feeding, D. needs a new activity unrelated to the dinner table.
7:30p - Step inside to induce dance party, watch the nearly 3 year old Donovan commence various maneuvers similar to break dancing.
7:45p-9:00p - Follow in D.'s every footstep as he finds a skateboard to scoot up and down the driveway on, scoot under the picnic table on the patio, crawl up an incline and release into a board slide that would have otherwise been fearfully harmful had there not been supervision, attempt to ride the board out the door down an 18 in. fall onto concrete, play with the pieces from Sorry, Operation, and Connect Four, all among other less notable activities.
9:00p - Drag children out of the house back to their own home
9:15p - Drag children out of the yard back to their own home
9:30p - Drag ourselves away from the children, back to our house
9:45p - Relearn how to play 42 (dominoes)
11:30p - Realize I haven't eaten dinner
11:32p - Eat dinner while listening to Wes and Connor jam
11:45p - Rediscover Ariel's homemade Incredible Oatmeal Banana Bread
12:15a - Begin writing about the rich day in the Kingdom I was allowed
1:03a - Realize typing an "a" next to 12:15 means I should finish writing and fumble through the dark towards a bed.
1:04a - Shower and sleep, at the same time?

Questions and Discussion

For everyone who attended the Summit talk today, I want to invite you to continue the discussion with us by posting any other questions or reflections as comments on this post. Hopefully we can keep the conversation going! Here are some questions for you to consider and respond to as well:

1. What were some things about our story that were meaningful to you, and why?

2. What were some points of tension where maybe you disagreed with something?

3. What do you think new monasticism has to say to today's church?

4. What walls stand in opposition to the Kingdom coming in your community of faith? What walls do you see God breaking down already?

5. Share your stories!

Summit

Hello everyone! Next week is Summit at ACU! Summit is a three day annual gathering at ACU that includes great preaching, incredible key-note speakers and featured guests (this year: Shaine Claiborne, Derek Webb, and Kathleen Norris to name a few), and many varied classes throughout the day. I would encourage any of you who can to come on out for all the great speakers and events at this year's Summit.

Specifically, you should come to the class that Allelon will be putting on! It will be on Monday, Sep. 20, at 4:00pm, in the Biblical Studies Building Room 112. The title of the class is "Radical Love and the Coming Kingdom: A year in the life a new-monastic community."

I hope you can all come out and celebrate with us the many things God has done in the Allelon community over the past year.

Prayer Vigil

I want to invite you all to participate in the 48 hour TXA prayer vigil coming up this next Monday and Tuesday. It will kick off with a prayer walk around campus, which will begin 48 hours of constant prayer. There will be a prayer tent on campus, manned by TXA guys, where anyone is welcome to come and pray, so if you are in the Abilene area and have a heart to see God's kingdom come, please join us in prayer.

For those of you who are not familiar with TXA, it is a covenant group of about 20 guys seeking to live out the sermon on the mount together. They live under a common rule of life, participate in community, and are on mission together. They are dear friends to the Allelon community. We cannot wait to see what God will do through this time set aside to seek his face together.

Here is the info you need:

To participate in the prayer walk, meet at the tower of light at 12:01 AM on Monday, Sept. 13. After that, we would encourage you to set aside blocks of time to pray over the next 48 hours (Monday and Tuesday). If you can come to the prayer tent, that would be wonderful. If not, join us in prayer from wherever you are.

To learn more about the TXA Monk Warriors, check out their blog: http://www.monkwarrior.org

"But I tell you, Love your enemies..."

There are no “teachers” and “students” in the Allelon community. There are no “ministers” and “ministered-tos.” Distinctions like this become irrelevant when true community breaks out. We are all teachers and we are all students – if we have the courage to teach and the humility to learn. We are all ministers and we are all ministered to – if we are intentional about reaching out in love and aware of our own need to be loved. When community breaks out and the love of God changes our hearts, it quickly becomes apparent that any such labels are just walls that divide us from God and each other. And let’s face it: We have enough walls already. We are all in this together, learning to follow Jesus, seeking God’s kingdom, loving each other – together.

An example, you ask? Let me tell you a story about Poon, one of the most courageous eighth graders I know. This story starts several months ago, and just like every other good story from our community, it starts around a dinner table.

We were just pushing away our empty bowls, moments ago filled with beans and rice, and I was just leaning back in my chair, when Poon began to tell us about one of her teachers. Poon and many of her friends had begun to wear Christian bracelets and t-shirts at school. I don’t know why they started, but apparently, once they did, no one wanted to stop. So they continued wearing them and even began writing Christian buzz-words on their arms. Of course, like any fad, it got really popular once a teacher – we will call her Mrs. Smith – started objecting. Who knows what her objection was? It doesn’t really matter. Poon told me she was giving students ISS and detention for wearing those things and for writing on their arms.

Well, Poon was up in arms; and let me tell you, that is a sight to see. Poon is a poet, and she has no trouble making herself heard or understood – there is a special rhythm and style to her speech, eloquent in a unique way. This particular night, she had had enough of Mrs. Smith and was letting us all know just how mad she was. Apparently, with her natural leadership abilities, Poon was finding herself in a face-off with Mrs. Smith, whom she did not like and who did not like her. And let me tell you, Poon is not one to back down.

So, there we were. I did not really want to choose sides, but I also did not want to shut Poon down or fail to really listen to her. I let her talk it out for a while, and then I decided to do a crazy thing – talk about Jesus. They were wearing the bracelets, so how about it? What would Jesus do?

Poon rarely misses the irony in a situation; it only took a little nudging from me and the others around the table for her to see the contradiction in failing to show love to a teacher in defense of Jesus t-shirts (I wonder how many of them mentioned loving your enemies…). Mostly I just asked Poon questions, crazy “what if” questions that basically amounted to “What if you loved Mrs. Smith in such an extreme way that your kindness would be unmistakable and utterly disarming?”

Remember I said that Poon never backs down. Well I meant it – not from a fight and not from a challenge. So we challenged her. We challenged her to put her money where her mouth was (or in this case, where her t-shirts and Sharpies were) and to give the love of Jesus a chance to transform her relationship with Mrs. Smith.

Ok, fast forward about five or six months. It’s the first day of the fall semester, and Poon walks through the doors of her junior high. She is greeted by all her friends, and just like any first day, it is a day full of joyful reunions. But on this particular first day, two very peculiar things happened.

Another person greeted Poon that day, and she greeted her as a teacher would her favorite student. In Poon’s words, “Mrs. Smith came up and gave me a big hug!” That’s right. Love prevailed. All those months ago, when Poon decided to love Mrs. Smith instead of hating her, it completely transformed their relationship and the whole atmosphere in Poon’s class. I don’t remember exactly how Poon demonstrated love, but it was extreme enough that I remember thinking it must have given Mrs. Smith whiplash. And praise God, Mrs. Smith responded in turn.

The second peculiar thing has to do with a young lady we’ll call Tarsheka who just moved here from out of state. I don’t know exactly when it started or why Tarsheka decided to mess with Poon, but by the time I was sitting with Poon after her fourth day of school, she was on her last nerve.

Fighting is in Poon’s blood. She comes from a culture and background where if you don’t hit, you get hit. Unfortunately – well, actually, fortunately – the school district just instituted a new zero-tolerance policy. If you fight, you get expelled. So for four days she had been backing down, even though it went against her every instinct. Tarsheka was in five of her seven classes, and, to hear Poon tell it, was making her life a living hell. Poon said she was ready to blow and that unless her friend Mrs. Smith (remember her?) was able to change her schedule, Tarsheka was going to get beat up the next day.

Mrs. Smith did eventually change Poon’s schedule, and I don’t think that Poon and Tarsheka are friends today. But before her schedule got changed, Poon taught me something about loving enemies.

After school on that fourth day, when Poon was about ready to blow, I listened to her and commiserated with her, but Poon was not there for those things. She has a host of eighth grade friends who will do that. Poon came and talked to me that day already knowing what I would say. That is what is so beautiful: Poon wanted to be challenged. Of course, on some level she wanted to punch Tarsheka, but I think – and this is just my impression – that she really wanted something more.

So I challenged her again. We talked about the final verses of Romans 12. We remembered together her relationship with Mrs. Smith. And we wrestled with those “what if” questions. It didn’t take long before Poon was brainstorming ways to go out of her way in loving Tarsheka. She recognized that Tarsheka probably felt lonely and awkward, having just moved here, so she decided to say kind words to her and invite Tarsheka into her group of friends. Then we talked about the fact that Poon wouldn’t be able to genuinely love Tarsheka on her own, not in her current state. We talked about praying and asking the Lord to change her heart and give her love for Tarsheka. Poon decided she would spend time that night praying for Tarsheka and for a heart full of love.

The next day, Poon repeatedly showed intentional love to Tarsheka. It only took two periods before Tarsheka was no longer saying any mean things, no longer threatening Poon, no longer making snide remarks behind her back. They weren’t besties, but they were no longer open enemies. I personally wanted to see love reach its goal in that relationship, but I guess the Lord knew something I didn’t because by the end of the day, Mrs. Smith had changed Poon’s schedule.

I learned a lot about the power of love because of Poon’s courage to walk the way of the cross. And the beautiful thing is that this story is not over. Poon and I will both face countless situations in our lives in which we are forced to choose between love and what is easy or what feels good. We are both teachers and we are both students, but most of all we are both disciples, learning what it means to follow Jesus.

A Good Day

Smiles invite rest.  A glowing face eliminates fear.  Today, I sprawled the future contents of a do-it-yourself shag carpet across the floor of our recently reorganized living room.  As my t-shirt weaving began, the rolling of rocks and gravel greeted my ears.  Shortly thereafter in the door stood clean cut Carl, hair freshly buzzed.  And a quiet smile. 

 "Carl!" Wes trumpeted - a righteous reunion.  Blessedly meek and mumbly as usual, Carl returned a greeting.  No sooner had Carl plopped down then had Vlad popped in the door with characteristic impromptu.  Conversation commenced.  A touch of small talk preceded Carl's underlying reason for his visit: he'd just returned from his wife.  "She should be out in December."  He couldn't hide the hope in his voice.  Carl, to my knowledge, has sparsely been much of a prayer instigator, yet on this day he led the charge.  "I'll start and one of you guys can finish," he eagerly delegated without a pause to decipher who would officially end the prayer.  We joined hands and talked to God.  Fewer prayers have I felt so privileged to be apart of.

A new kind of Worship

God wrote the story of this trip to Brasil, and he wrote the story of camp. That's the only way the camp theme of "Viver Coisas Novas" could possibly have succeeded. "Viver Coisas Novas" translates to "live new things," and this is what God wrote on us at camp. We went deep into the heart of our identities, only to find the creator himself in each of us. We were all the teachers and we were all the students. We were all fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers and one love one heart to hold us together. It's the most liberated I've ever felt in worship, and it wasn't even because the songs were good - though the songs were very good. I've never been to a camp where the singing was both sooo profound and soooo full of life and joy. Thank the Lord for His son Logan Pringle. But it wasn't the singing that made worship so good, it wasn't the guitar riff, and it wasn't the slides on the overhead. Camp was worship, all of it, every last blessed bit. Life itself is worship. You can love with your every second, and you can do it just being who you are. We made journals for school kids and shirts for homeless people and through it all opened ourselves to a world full of purpose and opportunity. Every moment is a chance to worship; every second is a time to dance. If we want to run we should run, if sing than sing, if dance than dance - all for the worship of our King.

Viver Coisas Novas!

Saga

sa·ga   [sah-guh]   n. 
1. a prose narrative of achievements and events in the history of a personage, family, etc.
2. a narrative or legend of heroic exploits.

Saturday night I witnessed a man named Marcos retell his story in front of about 25 other young adults, including the gory details about his family history, his mentally challenged mother, his apathetic aunt, and the broken families that she paid for him to stay with. He said he sometimes wonders what would have been better, to be raised by drugs, alcohol, and witchcraft like he was, or to be raised by his mentally retarded mother.

This group of young adults meet together every week to worship and share their stories with each other. They call their meeting Saga.
Having seen this, I was reminded of just how important the element of story is to our lives. Our lives are not cookie-cuttered. Everyone's story is different. You can only get to know a person so well without knowing their story. And sharing our story is how we open our pasts up to others. The importance of story is why we love to watch movies and read books. And it's why the Lord handed us the Bible instead of a list of his characteristics and why he gives us community instead of just coffins to die in. We are to live out this life and share the story.

That night at Saga, Mark said, "Sharing our stories gives strength to us and strength to others. God has given us community for this reason." And Marcos added, "When there are irregular elements to your story, it confirms for others that their story is accepted too, even if it's not normal. Having heard others' stories, I feel that I know them better." Knowing each others' stories connects us. We are entrusting a part of our lives to each other. 

The most moving part of the night was when the group sang these words to God over and over: "Escreva a sua história através de mim," write your story through me. I realize now that that's what seperates regular stories from sagas. You can live to write your own story, but won't the plot be boring! Or you can you let God write the story. You can understand that you're nothing but the paper. And that's where you get legendary narratives of heroic exploits. 

Camp & Cardio, Barbeque & Blessings

We've been in Brasil for almost two weeks now, and it is becoming more and more obvious to our team just how much God is in control. Especially in terms of the camp that we are all preparing for: Camp Roots.  
Ali has been talking about how camp has been organized so far. She feels as if planning camp has been like buying a suit, where she and Mark have been buying up all the accessories here in Brasil, the tie, shoes, socks, etc., while they're relying on the U.S. camp directors to buy the suit itself. It sounds weird, but but that really is how it seems.   
And sure enough, when Ali sent the lyrics of the song that she wants to use as the theme of camp, she received a reply with a breakdown of what the lyrics meant to the U.S. directors, and how the lines of the song fit perfectly into what they are drawing up for the Camp Roots curriculum. It's details like that that help Mark and Ali be able to relax and trust God with the rest of the camp preparations. Not to say there isn't work to be done, there's just no reason to be worried about it.

In other news, I've started walking or riding my bike to Mark and Ali's house from the house I'm staying at. It takes an hour and fifteen minutes for me to walk, and there's so many hills that it takes 45 minutes to ride the bike. Nothing like an hour of cardio to start your day! (If you know me well at all, you know that I wouldn't do that unless I had good reason to. In this case, that reason is lunch.)

Speaking of food, the family I'm stayin with had a barbeque tonight and oh man was it good!  The only thing that wasn't fun about it was that there seemed to be two language barriers stacked on top of each other. They were speaking Portuguese...but they were also speaking Golf. 

Tonight we also went to another youth group devotional at the Kaisers'. They've been talking about finding God in unexpected places the past few weeks, and tonight we focused specifically on finding God in the blessings. At first, this sounds like the obvious place for him to be found, but there is a lot of great things he does, times when he is actively working, and what do we do? Chalk it up to chance, coincidence, or good luck. Whether it's a full ride to college or a good parking spot, we have a tendancy to explain it away rather than thank God.                 

This Morning, I Woke Up in Drug Rehab...

Josh, Mark, Sam and I spent the night out at a secluded farm where recovering drug addicts live in community together. By the time we arrived last night, things were winding down and we just said hello and went to bed. But in the morning, we woke up early for breakfast, and then we all spent an hour in quiet time wherever we wanted to around the farm. I chose a bench outside where I could watch the last minutes of the sunrise. 
After an hour, we all gathered around a tree and Sam led us through our discussion. He started by asking everyone what was going on with them spiritually, what they'd been reading, what they'd been praying about, etc. The first man to speak was upfront about how he'd been putting other things before God and was looking to fix that. 
I found what he said to be incredible. One, because of his honesty. Two, because it was the EXACT same thing Sam was planning on discussing. His plan had been to talk about things that we put before God, and before he even started talking about it, another guy brought it up. Apparently, it really needed to be talked about...

When we returned home, we spent some time working on projects around Mark and Ali's house. They are in the process of making their garage into a bedroom for four boys, so they need a desk. Why buy one when you can build it to your exact specifications? And what a better opportunity to get more carpentry experience than an international woodworking project?
So I drew up some designs for the desk, and spent maybe three hours walking to and from a recycled wood center with my new friend Ismael. We talked a lot, which is surprising since he knows no English and I'm still trying to figure why anyone would want to speak a language called Pork-n-cheese.
But it went well. We both learned a lot of each other's languages, and we got to know each other well. 
(In case you're wondering, the first phrase you should learn how to say in any language is "How do you say ____?" which can be rather difficult, since you can't use that phrase to begin with. Good luck with that.)
As if the conversation wasn't good enough, the recycled wood store (ok, junk yard) was an awesome sight to behold. They had entire houses-worth of junk separated and sorted. Wood, doors, doorframes, windows, stained glass, piping, toilets, and yes, kitchen sinks. Plus, they had a treehouse! I could have spent hours there! Especially since it would take me awhile to figure how to ask if I could go up into the treehouse. 

This evening (you should be catching on to the fact that I had a packed day by now) the youth group from the Igresia de Cristo came over to Mark and Ali's house. Somehow we got thirty people and change into the Kaiser's limited living room. We got to sit in on the group's continuing discussion about finding God in unexpected places. Look out, world, this group of teenagers is obviously serious about going for God. 

My day ended on a high note when, on the way home with the family I'm staying with, we stopped by my new little brother's mom's house. I just stay with the father and son, so it was a pleasant surprise to get to meet his mom as well. 

Drug rehab farm, cross-cultural carpentry, junk yard, Brazilian youth group, and family time. Some of them unexpected, but all means to a great day of relationships strengthened.    

A Productive Day at a Brasilian Orphanage

Today, our group of five in Brasil went to the Lar, an orphanage on the other side of town.
What a blessing! When we first arrived, I helped Sam, one of the longer-term interns, and Barbara, a Brasilian that works with the Kaisers, sort clothes in the Lar's donations room. We only worked for a little while before a lady came in and told us that we could go eat lunch with the kids. We did and they laughed becuase I couldn't understand what they were saying.
After lunch, we were much more productive. Not to say that we went back to work, but rather we had a water balloon fight. And that was followed by capture the flag. And that was followed by soccer. Lots of soccer. So in terms of relationship, which is more important anyway, we were much more productive.
While we were playing, Barbara came up to me and explained that the kids had been calling me Tio, "uncle.". Needless to say, that made my day. Well, that and when I scored a one-touch goal against Brasilians.
When it was almost time to catch the bus back home, I laid down in the grass, sweaty and tired, my feet black with the dirt from the soccer field, and realized yet again how good God is, and how happy I am to be living the life that He has laid out for me.

A Place to Open Your Wings

It's been 24 hours in Brasil for Josh and I, and we are already hitting the ground running. The missionaries we are working with, Mark and Ali Kaiser, head up a lot of different ministries at the Igreja de Cristo here in Itu. They primarily work with the youth, but also do a homeless ministry and frequently visit an orphanage.
The most incredible thing we've seen so far is how the Kaisers use they're home for the "equipping of the saints" (Eph 4:11-12). I am proud of them for not clinging to the cultural norms of raising your private nuclear family in your hone and, while others may visit frequently, all of ministry is done elsewhere. Obviously, in our house back on Cockerell, that principle just doesn't work. When they explain to people how their community works in Portuguese, they use a phrase that connotes something like "intentional frat house." That way, people start to understand that their house is special and that there is a variety of people living in and visiting it.
Still, they face a lot of odd looks and questions. "You've been married for six years, why don't you have kids?" Not to mention the question that most missionaries have to face: "So your job is just to hang out with people? Someone pays you to do that?" Living in close community with others is just as much a social oddity here in Brasil as it is in Texas, if not more so. The way Ali put it was that at least in the US, they can just call it nonconformity, but here they don't even have a word for it.
The one thing that has captured what Mark and Ali do with their home is best summed up in a sharpie-on-butcher paper artpiece (an under-appreciated form of art, in my opinion) that hangs in their living room and says, "In this house, you're invited to open your wings."

Summer Plans Become Reality

Summer is in full swing for us at the Allelon house. Time seems to go slower without a repetitive schedule, but at times it seems to go faster since I'm usually not paying attention to what time--or even what day--it is. Wes is at his summer internship as a hospital chaplain in Houston and we miss him dearly. Since I have finished with school for the summer, I have been working full time between keeping the house clean, helping people move around town, and completing wood projects in the garage as an aspiring carpenter. (Pictures to come!) Josh is still working as a waiter while mentoring our friend John.
Our co-workers in Christ, Kyle and Marshall, have been staying with us again. They bring a spirit of life and purpose that I sometimes let get pushed aside for the sake of school busyness. It's good to have then back on this side of town.
Keep Wes in your prayers as he is experiencing a life-changing internship with cancer patients. And keep the rest of us in your prayers as the neighborhood kids are out of school, Marshall and Justina are getting married, and Josh and I are heading to Brasil for four weeks on Sunday to work with a youth camp in the city of Itu.

Summertime

Summer is just about here. For those of us still operating on the college schedule, we are counting down the days until Friday when the last final will have been taken and summer will officially commence. Meanwhile, Josh, who has been out of school for a few years now, has been showing us some servant-love by making breakfast for us everyday this week while we deal with the stress of finals. What a guy! I feel so blessed to be surrounded by people whose love for Jesus is obvious in the way they treat me and everyone around them.

As the semester winds up and summer plans draw ever nearer, there are some transitions coming. After a lot of prayer, Ben has decided to move in with some other guys who are a part of his church, Kingdom Life Fellowship. He is by no means leaving our community, but he will be living elsewhere starting in a few weeks. We will definitely miss him - his carefree spirit, his cooking, his laughter, his general silliness late at night, his beautiful voice echoing from the shower, and his unconditional love and service. But I guess if he gets too scarce, we know where to find him! We're praying that God will richly bless him as he continues in school and continues to follow Jesus with everything he has.

I (Wesley) will be heading down to Houston in just about a week and a half to begin the Lifeline Hospital Chaplaincy Internship. I will be working Mon-Fri, 8-5pm, as a hospital chaplain at M.D. Anderson Medical Center. It will be a quite a summer, I'm sure, and I'm really looking forward to all the things God will teach me through the experience. Of course, my heart is somewhat torn because I would love to be in Abilene, living in our neighborhood, playing with kids and deepening the many relationships that have become so dear to me. Part of trusting God is trusting that His work continues when we are called to be absent for a time; and I know that it will.

Josh and Aaron will be in the house most of the summer, carrying on as usual with open doors and open hearts. For about five weeks, starting June 13th, they will be traveling to Brazil to promote and participate in a church camp. This will be Josh's sixth time to go and work with the same people, and every year he has been blessed by the many friendships and the ways God has worked. He is eagerly anticipating all that God will do. This year will be particularly special, since Aaron and some other friends of ours will be joining him. If you would like to help out financially with this awesome trip, just email us for more details at joshlovemonk@gmail.com.

Last Friday was the last Friday Night Dinner with all of our college friends in town. The Friday and Sunday community meals have been a rich blessing this semester, but we anticipate just going with the flow this summer - less structured, more frequent. I hope to post again soon and tell you all about last Friday, a very fun and special night, but for now...it's time to study!

We're Not Dead!

Hello Everyone!

I know it's going on two months since our last post, and I'm so sorry we haven't been updating more. It's just been so crazy! But don't think God hasn't been working. He has been doing some really incredible things. Let me catch you up really quick:

- We've still been having our Friday and Sunday community meals. It's been a real blessing that as the semester has become a little crazier, the numbers at these meals has dropped a little. For a while there were 30-40 people here for every meal, which was a little bit crazy! We've actually been able to sit down around the table lately. And it seems like each time the exact people who need to be there are there. God is definitely in control! (I would post pictures from some of these, but our laptop and camera were stolen, and we had not saved any of the photos yet! Bummer...)

- We've been blessed with the opportunity to participate in several neighborhood events. The first of these is Thursday lunches over at St. John's Baptist on Carver St. Last semester we helped Pastor Riley prepare for these and serve the food each Thursday, but now another lady from the church handles all of that, so we just get to come out and eat with everybody. It is always a really great time of food and fellowship. We've particularly enjoyed getting to know our new friend Lorenzo who lives on the north end of Carver.
We also got to join many friends and neighbors for an Easter party in the park put on by Macedonia Baptist Church. We had worked with Flora to plan an Easter Egg Hunt and Family Meal, but then we found out that Macedonia had scheduled an egg hunt for the same time in the same place! We just canceled ours and encouraged everyone to go out to the park and participate with their event. It was such a blessing!
Most recently, our friend Brother Rob Lilly and his organization Da'Cipher hosted a BBQ out in the park. It was quite a party! There was food, music, a bounce house, and all sorts of games, plus some time for older men to share some of their life experiences with at-risk teens. Praise God! Brother Rob has a really incredible ministry. Some of our closest friends (Denise, Poon, Allenia) have really enjoyed being a part of Da'Cipher on Monday nights.
Sometimes it is nice to not have any role in planning or facilitating, but to just come out as neighbors and enjoy some fellowship. We really thank God for blessing us with all these opportunities.

- Last Saturday, we had a neighborhood potluck. We originally planned to have it out in the park, but it was pouring rain on Saturday. So we moved it over to our house. Sue made her delicious noodle casserole and a couple of cool-aid pies. Kelsey made a huge pot of chili. I made queso, guacamole, and pineapple dip, plus some jalapeno corn. Ben made brownies. Poon made lemonade. Flora and Lorenzo brought bread and cheese. Vladimir brought pinto beans cooked Armenian style. I couldn't even keep track of it all, but it was delicious! And the fellowship was incredible. Then that night we went with a group of about 15 friends and neighbors to see the annual Shades show at ACU. Shades is an incredible dance and step group. The show was so good!

- This Sunday, we will be attending a tent service just down the street. Our friends at 10th and Treadaway Church and Hillcrest Church are having joint services next to the old, run-down community center on Cockerell St. Then, after a community meal, we will begin the first stage of renovating this so it can once again be a safe, fun place in the neighborhood. We've been praying about this building for a long time, and it was really an answer to prayer when we found out that it would be renovated. Who knows all the ways that God will use this next semester?

There are many more exciting things to share, but the homework beckons. So for now, I will just say this: God is incredibly faithful. He is redeeming the whole world, and we are blessed to see a little part of that in our hearts and in our neighborhood.

(We'll try to be better about keeping you posted, so don't give up on checking out the blog occasionally!)

Dripping From Our Tounges

For thousands of years, the people of God have been telling stories of His mighty deeds. It is these stories that form our communal identity as believers; it is these stories that help us remember who we are and whose we are, and that remind us how we got where we are.

Testimony is vital for the encouragement of the Church and the spread of the good news of Jesus Messiah. In Revelation 19, the enemy is defeated by two things: the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. This is because Jesus' saving work on the cross has immense value and power, but its meaning to the world is found in the kind of communities which that saving work forms and the kind of alternative existence that we embody. What a victory it would be for the enemy if men never saw the significance of the blood of the Lamb because our communities stopped embodying the cause for which Christ died - the kingdom of God.

So, as Christians, stories of God's saving work in the world, of his redemption and grace, should constantly be dripping from our tongues - an eternal song that will never be silenced. We should constantly be recounting the mighty deeds of the God who did not abandon the world but sent his son to reconcile all men to himself.

This weekend, we had the opportunity to do just that. We were invited to teach a class at Soul Link, an annual youth convention is Houston, TX. We had a 45 minute time slot, which could have been used for a lot of things, but we decided that the best way to approach our topic "Counter-culture" was to tell stories about life in the upside-down Kingdom of God. So we told some stories. We told stories about Moo Moo and Allenia, Riley and Flora, Cecilia and Carl - stories of hope and struggle, stories about the power of the love of Jesus to break down walls and build bridges and form relationships out of nothing but a prayer.

Sometimes I think that the storyteller is blessed way more than the hearers. I know this was the case in Houston. Storytelling is an act of creation, and each time we tell a story about the Kingdom, the truths that the story points to are formed in our hearts anew. So, each time Josh tells about the lessons of kindness he has learned from Moo Moo, kindness finds deeper roots in his heart. Each time I recount the power of love in our relationship with Carl and CiCi, I become more convinced of the power of love and more ready to live that love out.

Let us encourage you to be storytellers. Sit down around the table with your family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors; and tell the stories of God. And if you find yourself saying, "What stories do I have to share?" then pray that God will bring His kingdom in your heart and life this week. He is faithful.

Cracks

Its been a while now.  We've nearly weathered the cold and frostbitten season of awkward newness,  slogging headstrong through the gales of doors frozen shut, schedules busier than elves on Christmas Eve, and grumpy, hibernating neighbors.  Its not just the cracks in the windows and draft through the door that left them bitter, but the enabling burden of stereotype, heaping hardships, and the occasional disability check.  But though those same rifts we will shout our introductions of grace, truth, hope, and love.  (If you've ever been door knocking, you might understand the humor here)

Now we stretch toward spring, a new season of life and love, green and growth.  Prayers become ever fervent and ideas sprout like we hope our community garden will, both socially and physically.

A new season hangs on the horizon.  Lingering.  Beckoning.  Pray with us for new life.

Teach me to pray

Prayer is, at the same time, the most frustrating and the most promising of the spiritual disciplines. Over the past several months, I have been trying to learn what it means to pray continually, and I have been pressing into contemplative prayer of the heart. So much of the time, it seems like I’m getting nowhere, like I’m banging into a brick wall; and yet, I have had just enough times of breakthrough – moments of transcendence when the things of earth do become strangely dim – that I know that prayer is also worth all the struggle because of the promise of intimacy that it holds.

With this heart and mind, and with these experiences, I read the words of John Cassian (4th-5th century monk) about a man of prayer, “He strives for unstirring calm of mind and for never-ending purity, and he does so to the extent that this is possible for human frailty." This vision of a life of prayer, of what it means to be a man of prayer, looks so different than my daily attempts to commune with God. ”Unstirring calm of mind” is a rare experience at best, and “never-ending purity” would make anyone who knows me very well laugh until they cried.

This is why the second half of his sentence is so important: “…he does so to the extent that this is possible for human frailty.” I don’t know if John was quite ready for the limits of my human frailty, which are pretty extreme, but I take some comfort in his pursuit of such a high ideal coupled with a comfortable recognition that most will find it very difficult to achieve.

The promise that prayer holds, the potential for the life of a disciple of Jesus is indispensable, for, as Cassian says, “so will all these virtues be neither sturdy nor enduring unless they are drawn firmly together by the crown of prayer…and cannot be effected without it...."

I want to be a certain person, to possess certain virtues, to love faithfully and unconditionally; and the constant struggle I find myself in is between either trying to make my own headway into those very difficult waters or choosing to trust God to form them in me as I devote my entire life to the active, continuous prayer Cassian describes, a prayer that is devotional and transformational. It is a difficult struggle because often the first way yields more immediate, tangible results. Unfortunately, they never last. Virtues formed by prayer, on the other hand, are often slow in coming and hard to see at first; but they are the result of a heart truly and deeply changed by the Spirit of God, and they last forever.

The struggle to persevere in prayer is a struggle of vision. It is the struggle to see past one’s own frailty and inability and to firmly fix one’s gaze on the promise of transformation that prayer holds for those who are faithful. Lord, teach me to pray.

Inheritance

What can wash away my sins?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

What can make me whole again?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh, precious is the flow,

That makes me white as snow

No other fount I know.

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

What is my inheritance?

"This is my body; broken for you and this is my blood; shed for you."

What is received and what is taken? Or better: who is an heir and who is a thief? Sometimes wolves lay hidden among sheep that run in a flock. They know that the Shepherd will take them where they are going, and when they get there the wolf strikes. In the spirit of inheritance there are only sheep. The wolves are cast out into the darkness for they have taken what was offered as a gift. The truth is one cannot take from the lord or add to him anything. Because we love a God like this, who made everything from nothing, to whom all things are, and from whom all things are - because of this we can only receive. It is impossible for us to take. If we take, we take what is not. This is sin, and sin gives birth to death; and they are the enemies of God. How then do we inherit? What worth must we attain? Is it possible to earn any of what God has made? Apart from him we can do nothing, but this is not loss; for in him we bear much fruit, lasting fruit that sprouts up into eternal life.

We have received the spirit of adoption to be sons and daughters. If we are sons than we have an inheritance. So then, how and when do we receive? If the promise is from God and unassailable by the enemy, why is it not manifest now? I cannot say for certain, not on behalf of every man and woman. However this much is true: Jesus is author and perfector of our faith, he is mighty to save- mighty to save. He died and conquered the grave saving us from the enemy. This is what happened already. The Councilor - the Holy Spirit - leads us into all truth, and this is the present. In the future he will return, and all things will be restored; that which is to come. We are always being saved, from the beginning and until the end. The lamb was even slain from the foundation of the world. The question is now: How long, O Lord, how long? The answer to this is very difficult. No one knows the time set ahead except the father himself. There are signs for every season available to the discernment of the wise, but a season can also pass you by and later come again.

In the Exodus God promised to deliver Israel from slavery and take them to the land promised their ancestors. But when they escaped Egypt they did not enter into the land of milk and honey. They first lived in the dessert for 40 years. They were called to go, but not immediately sent to their destination. Even Abram was led in the same way: "Go to the land that I will show you." not "go to the land of Palestine" or "Go to the land of Egypt" but "Go to the land that I will show you." Get up and go somewhere, and then I'll tell you where you are. Again later with Moses : "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you; when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."

Ok, first of all God skips the premise that failure is apart of the equation. Beyond assumption he knows that the people will be delivered. Secondly, his sign that he is with them is the whole thing. The escape and all are a part of his sign. In many ways the journey is as important as the destination. Now here's the question: what if Moses had no faith? Would Israel have been delivered? Surely, for it was God's will, but it might have passed to the next generation just like it did in the desert. At the end of his days Moses and the Israelites were at the cusp of entering into their inheritance, as they always were, but they did not learn the lessons of the desert. They escaped their slavery and left the land of Egypt, forever, but slavery and the land of Egypt had not left them. Many times God showed up and at many times they said it would be better to return to Egypt. God provided manna everyday, enough for that day, but still the Israelites gathered more than they needed. God told Moses to speak to the rock and instead he broke it with his staff. Over and over again they failed to learn this lesson: God provides. They had been freed from slavery, but they were still slaves. They must still learn to be sons and daughters. We enter into the inheritance when we put faith in this reality; God provides. In this way we are proved by God's strength and glory to be his children; knowing and obeying his voice in faith.

When the spies came back to Joshua there were two reports: "We cannot do this." and "We can certainly do this." Both were true. What is impossible with man is made possible with God.

"I am the gate. Who ever enters through me will be saved, he will come in and go out, and find pasture."

The cloud goes ahead of us and is a pillar of smoke by day and a fire by night. Where it sets down we set down. When it gets up, we get up. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death... even in the desert we will follow the voice of our lord.

What can save us?

Nothing but Jesus

What can lead us?

Nothing but Jesus

How will we get there?

He is the way and the truth and the light. Believe and receive the kingdom of God which is at hand.