What does Love require?

A few hours ago, I changed my Facebook status. I know, big news - definitely worthy of a blog post. I posted one of those chain things, telling everyone who reads my status to post some memory that they have of us. My Uncle Mark posted a cool memory but then also messaged me another, somewhat less appropriate memory just for fun. It was very considerate of him not to post it where everyone could see, but since it makes a great beginning for what I want to talk about, I'm going to post it here where everyone can read it.

You were ~4 - you and I were up in Gramma's apartment. You went into the restroom. Now you were VERY intelligent, and therefore a bit precocious. You were in there an inordinant amount of time, so I thought that your mother ought to know if you were having difficulty, so when you came out, I asked you, "when you were in there, did you just empty out your bladder, or did you make a BM?" You informed that the latter was the case. I then asked you, "Was it runny?" "NO!" you vehemently informed me. I continued working at her small table, while you went over to play with toys in her living room. Not too much later, I felt a tug on my clothing. You looked up at me and said, "Uncle Mark, if, when you SAY, "runny"... (I felt that my use of words was being corrected) ...if you MEAN "JUIT-SEY," it WAS!"

This story is funny and a bit embarrassing, and it got me thinking about how often I corrected people as a child. It was a terrible habit. Whether or not I knew what I was talking about, I always felt the need to put in my two cents, to prove my wits or intelligence. I wish I could say that it was just something I did when I was really young, but the truth is it chased me all through high school and college, this need to prove myself, to be heard and respected - this need to be right.

The more I live and learn, the more I realize how little I actually know, and, even more, how little the little that I know actually matters. Knowledge is a wonderful thing; understanding even better. But Love is far superior to them both. I mourn when I think of all the times I have sacrificed Love in my quest to be right and to let the world know about it. It is a sad result of trying to find my identity in others, when God is longing to fulfill me with His love.

And He has been teaching me more and more over the past few years, in a variety of ways, to hold my tongue. He showed me the immense value of listening. I mean, when I really listen to people, a hold new world is opened up to me. I am able to see things and hear things that I never could when I was just thinking about how I was going to respond. And listening is itself a ministry, one of the most important. The truth is, everyone needs to be heard, to put themselves out into the world and find that someone cares enough to stop and listen. So I try to listen now, and most of the time I don't do a very good job. But sometimes I really hear people, their hearts, their hurts, their struggles and joys, and in those moments I am more fulfilled and secure in who I am in Christ than after any won argument or well-made point.

Randy, one my professors, taught a weekly chapel last year called "Living Out the Sermon on the Mount." We focused on some simple, practical ways to live out the radical way of Christ. I remember one day he challenged us with this goal for the week: "Speak only what Love requires." I won't say I succeeded by any means, but my conversations that week were transformed by the idea of submitting to Love in all things. I have made that my constant goal now, to speak only what love requires. Most of the time in means not talking, and occasionally it means speaking up with boldness when few would dare. Always it means loving people with my silence and my speech.

I'm so blessed to be in community with guys who live this out everyday, guys like Ben and Josh and Aaron. They care deeply about people, and it challenges me to see what they see and hear what they hear.

All that said, I still have a big mouth. I still often speak when love doesn't require that I say anything. I still speak out of selfish ambition numerous times everyday. I'm sure that some of you reading this have talked to me at some point and felt that I wasn't really listening. But God is doing a work in my heart. He is teaching me who I am in Him. He is teaching me to be still and rest in him, to be calm and completely fulfilled in him. He is teaching me to die to myself in the big ways and the small ways, in the conversations and the career plans. Praise be to God! Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew and right spirit within me.