God is Faithful

Well, it is Christmas Eve. The snow is falling outside my window, covering the world in white, and as I reflect on the events of the past week, I am astounded once again at the faithfulness of God. If you read our post Project Christmas, you may be wondering by now how the big Christmas Party for all the kids in our neighborhood went.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians that God is able to do more than we could ask or imagine. This was demonstrated to me once again this Christmas as God far surpassed my wildest expectations in pouring out his blessings and love on the beautiful people in the Stevenson neighborhood.

When we posted last, it was to issue a call for prayer and support of Flora's dream to provide presents to all the kids in the neighborhood. People had told her that dream was too big, but we were confident God would provide, as He always does. Not only did God provide, He poured out abundant blessings.

The garage after unpacking the load of toys from KLF!

We initially asked help to provide presents for 50-60 kids, but over the past two weeks, that number grew to well over 80. God was not surprised, and he provided in advance for every need. By the end of it all, each kid had several awesome gifts: there were bikes, Mp3 players, transformers, barbies, stuffed animals, basketballs, footballs.... you name it and God provided it.

Aaron and I returned from a trip to Dallas last Wednesday to begin the huge task of wrapping presents and getting ready for the party. We got into town at about noon on the 16th, which left us about 54 hours before the big party! We hit the ground running, spending most of the afternoon on Wednesday cleaning, organizing, and doing a little shopping. We already had many toys in the garage provided by our friends and family, and then on Wednesday night, we got the call from Rachel at Kingdom Life Fellowship (Aaron, Ben, and Josh's church home) that she was ready for us to come pick up the presents they had for us.

We didn't really know what to expect, but we knew we would be grateful for whatever God provided. Aaron was more than a little overwhelmed when he arrived to find enough toys to completely fill the pick up truck. There were several huge trash bags full of toys for boys and girls, plus even a few bikes for little girls!

Some friends came over that night to help wrap, which we proceeded to do until 1 or 2 in the morning. The next day we got up early and spent the morning shopping for some specific wish lists that kids had given in letters to Santa. At about noon, Aaron and I started wrapping again. We were at it for most of the rest of the day with only a brief stop for dinner and another small shopping trip that evening. Our friend Cambria and her sister Morgan jumped in with both feet from Wednesday night on and were there helping us get ready pretty much every moment of every day. In this, perhaps more than anything else, I saw God's provision; we definitely could not have done it without them.

Cambria and Morgan. They were such a blessing!

In addition to getting presents wrapped, sorted, labeled, and organized into families, we also had to organize crafts and snacks for the party. For the Christmas party, there were several stations of crafts and games for the kids to enjoy. They could decorate Christmas cookies, make Christmas cards, play Christmas bingo, get their faces painted, or decorate a homemade Christmas ornament (good idea, Angel!).

The party was a huge success! I led some Christmas songs at the beginning for about 15 minutes. Kids eagerly got up on stage with me and helped lead Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer, and we especially enjoyed singing Feliz Navidad. We even had a soloist. 15 year-old Olivia sang through the first verse of Silent Night a cappella, after which we all joined in.

Singing at the party. The woman in red is Flora, and the little girl with whom she is playing is my niece!

Olivia singing "Silent Night."

We then launched into craft/game time, which was basically 45 minutes of joyful chaos. It was a little crowded in the small church building, but nobody felt anything but joy as the mass of kids rushed the stage, eager to make crafts, eat cookies, or even get their faces painted.

Decorating Christmas ornaments.

Mmmmm...Christmas cookies!

What a smile!

Lee Jay painting Whitney's face.

After craft time, Aaron read aloud the Christmas narrative from Luke, and we began the crazy process of handing out the presents. There were hundreds of gifts, and it was not easy to get the right gifts to the right kids in a timely manner. It got pretty crazy at times, but by the end of the night, there were only a few kids who didn't end up with the presents prepared for them, and everybody had some great toys!

Aaron reading the Christmas story.

I think God accomplished some really important things at this party. He poured out His love on the kids, making each one of them feel special and valued. He provided us with opportunity to meet many more families from the neighborhood, people who we had been praying for and thinking about all week as we prepared presents and checked the list of names over and over. He put a renewed hope in Flora's heart for His plan for the Stevenson neighborhood and forged a special relationship between our community and her family.

This party got me especially excited for next year and the all the things God has in plan for the Allelon community and the Stevenson neighborhood. We have been viewed with a good deal of suspicion by folks in the neighborhood this semester. This, of course, was no obstacle to God, and we have been blown away by all He has done in us and through us over the course of just one short semester. Still, I am excited because after this party, we are familiar faces to many people in the neighborhood, and hopefully they were given a glimpse not only of how much God loves them, but how much we care for them also. I think this Christmas party was God's tool to open up many doors for new relationships!

There is much more that I could share, a million inspiring stories of how God's Spirit was evident in St. John's that night. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. We want to thank each and every one of you who prayed and supported us this Christmas. Thank you for listening to the Lord and being willing to give of yourself in order to spread His love. The point of everything we do as followers of Jesus is this: His kingdom come. His kingdom definitely broke through in a big way last Friday.

Allenia after opening one of her presents.

Project Christmas

Hey everybody, WE NEED YOUR HELP.

Let me tell you a story. This past Thursday, I was at the weekly neighborhood lunch hosted by Pastor Riley. I sat down for a while to visit with Flora, the assistant pastor over at St. John's Baptist, a small congregation in our neighborhood.

Flora is a very sweet lady, who, despite many hardships, continually allows herself to be poured out by God in service to her neighborhood (our neighborhood!). She especially has a heart for the kids in the neighborhood.

Over the week before this lunch, a few of our friends had already randomly dropped off some bags full of Christmas presents for kids in the neighborhood. We had been planning on getting presents for the 7-10 kids with whom we have become very close over the past few months, but as the presents began to accumulate, we started to get the funny feeling that, as usual, God had a plan for Christmas on Cockerell Dr. that far exceeded our wildest imaginings.

That day as I listened to Flora pour out her dreams about Christmas for the 40-50 kids in the neighborhood, it became clear to me that God had already been working in advance to allow us to support Flora in this divine dream. She wants to share the love of Jesus with all these kids just like we do. Plus, she actually knows many of the kids, kids who we are still longing to meet!

Flora has been trying to put on Christmas for all these kids for a few years now, but she hasn't been able to get enough presents or money to buy presents to really do it the way she wants for all the kids, and a lot of times the presents that are donated are just the junk that people don't want anymore, which provides kids with junk but not a whole lot of the Creator's love. People have been telling her that she is dreaming too big, that she shouldn't bite off more than she can chew.

When I heard her say that, I told her with full confidence that God would provide the presents for every kid this year because He is able to do far more than we could ever ask or imagine. And what is more, He loves to pour out good gifts on His children. I told Flora that we couldn't dream too big for God, and that the four of us would join her in her dream.

God will provide. He always does, and every time He does, we are blown away by the immensity of His love and faithfulness.

If there is one thing I have been learning over the past few weeks, it is that we are called to be the answers to our prayers. We often pray for people and find that God is calling us to be His hands and feet and to be the answers to our prayers. Josh, Aaron, Ben, and I are ready to do whatever God asks of us in order to show the perfect love of Jesus Christ to every kid in the neighborhood. We want to ask if you would be willing to join us in becoming the answer to this prayer.

If you want to help, here is what you can do:

1. Pray that these presents won't just be more stuff for the kids, but that they will be tools for showing them how much God loves them.

2. If you are in Abilene, go out and buy a 1, 2....10 presents and bring them to us (unwrapped) at 465 Cockerell Dr., Abilene, TX 79601. Just call before you come or if you need more info about what to buy (214-206-7708).

3. If you do not live in Abilene, but would like to be involved, you might consider donating some money to help us get presents. Perhaps we could even have a community shopping trip with Flora (who knows a greater number of the kids) or with some of the kids we know really well so that we can all experience together the joy of shopping and buying presents for others. You could send a check made out to Josh Love to the address above (in #2) or you could call the phone number above to work out some other way of donating.

We are thanking God in advance for all your prayer and support. Praise God who is bringing in His kingdom in the Allelon community, the Stevenson neighborhood, and around the world!

Street Corner Preacher

Many people we meet at Allelon remind me of a song by Amos Lee, Street Corner Preacher

When I walked through the doors, all I could focus on were my throbbing forearms screaming from the wall I just pretended to rock climbing. It didn't take long before the people and circumstances in our house quieted my selfish whining.

Before I could think another thought, I was instructed to rummage through my phone in search of a local pastor's number who is known for working with homeless, hurting, people. Through a series of phone calls, we were able to leave a message.

In the midst of all this, Kendrick needed a ride to Dollar General to pick up some dog food. On went my shirt, and out the door we marched.

When we got back, our new friend Jo Jo had hopped in a much coveted shower. His paper sack with protruding bottle neck (Steel Reserve) took its own much needed rest near the couch. Wes and Moo Moo had hustled over to Walmart to pick up a new set of clothes. (Wes doesn't know this yet, but he is going to fill in his part of the story here. Thanks Wes!) There was a slightly awkward gap when Jo Jo finished his shower when Wes and Moo Moo had not yet returned with the wardrobe. So in nothing but a towel, Jo Jo started hollering about his bottle, excessively thanking his hosts, and cheering about how sweet a shower was.

While Wes warmed up some left over sloppy joes (irony at its best), Josh filtered through the pile of our cleanest clothes to find Jo Jo a fresh shirt to wear. By now Jo Jo had plopped into the recliner and the housemates started munching. But not Jo Jo.

Despite our efforts to get Jo Jo to eat, he instead heeded our fervent requests to receive the shirts we had placed beside him. With tears and a quivering voice he indeed was at loss for words, but only for a moment as he traded his inhibition for a pulpit where the sermon began. Stories of other homeless friends, associates, enemies, preachers, 5-0, among others. That gritty smile gleaned reciprocity from our trim faces. With a concerted effort from all of us, Moo Moo included, Jo Jo eventually whipped up his plate off the floor where he'd forgotten about it and tackled the mound of beans, chips, and sloppy joe piled high on a plastic neon orange dish fit for royalty (thanks JB), or at least I think that might have been what the Prince of Peace would've eaten from.


Between his admitted 19 public intoxication charges, tussles with other homeless characters, shaming encounters with pastors, and (I imagine along the way) upsetting spats with ignorant passer-bys and highway drivers, pieces of Jo Jo have been cut away. But this night, Joe received his dignity back. "Nobody lis'ns to me. Y'know. I try ta tell'em, but day juss don't lis'n to me." Little did he know, he couldn't have asked for a more captive audience. Our eyes and ears were fixed to his every story, sermon, and request - though he'd tell you "[he] didn't ask for none of this." Which I suppose he didn't technically verbally inquire. But when Wes started playing that music, with Jo Jo as the only audience, you could see the unprotected self-worth make a liberating leap past the hard leathery exterior.

Enter The Gambler. What an appropriate song and title for the situation, for Jo Jo had indeed learned the hard way how to know when to hold 'em, fold 'em, when to walk away and when (and from who) to run. But he'd learned how to take a hit, too. I don't know what made him decide to come back to meet Josh that day but it was divine, indeed.

As for me, one of the most entertaining parts of the evening was Jo Jo's introduction of Trigger, his imaginary horse during Wes' rendition of "You Are My Sunshine". But perhaps the most noteworthy remains the hug he gave when he left It is forever impressed into my memory. Even as I come back to edit this parable, my heart pounds a deeper thump. Full of genuine appreciation, connection, and unabashed affection, we started with a simple obligatory embrace. But to my relief, that was not enough for him. His only hidden requirement for the extent of the evening was a willingness to receive his warm, shirt-clutching hug.


Below I've included some other quotes and highlighted a couple other moments from the evening with our new friend:

In response to Moo Moo's comment regarding walking:
"See these old legs I got, these old man legs - they walked 93 miles from Oklahoma to Snyder, TX. ... I walked it. Ain't nobody gonna pick you up on the highway. I slept beside railroad tracks, all dang parks. If I can walk my 52 year old ass, shee-it. you can walk too." (often followed by a rhetorical "you hear me?")

Taking a breath from preaching to take a swig:
"Old Jo Jo might drink some beer, but he can do some preachin' too. For real boy, shee-it. Let me tell you, bubba."

In conversation with Josh about some other homeless men:
"I think I know him... I know who you talking about. He's a good friend of mine. I think so. What he in for, PI? You get 4 hours 'n yer out."

Talking about Kenny Rogers -
"He married that girl... I'm'nna tell you right quick, quick now. [snaps fingers] What was her name..?" [staring into the ceiling as if the answer were printed there in tiny letters at a funny angle]
Then for some added flavor, when "I Walk the Line" twanged across those strings, Jo Jo didn't hesitate to take lead on vocals; that old boy belted it with the best of them.

The First Supper

By now, whether he wants to or not, Aaron has decided to become a carpenter upon finishing school. Or at least that's what we say around the community. Its a good vocation - Jesus was a carpenter after all. What better way to serve, and well really our house hold? So much love can go into the work of carpentry, so much intention, so much passion, and in the end, so much communion.




After we prayed - and we pray like this a lot: "Lord we sure would like to build a picknick table," Aaron went for a walk in the woods behind our house. As he almost always does, the Lord provided in an amazing and peculiar way. Aaron happened upon a junk pile with really nice two by fours and many other things necessary for building our table. When he came back from the woods with... the wood, we weren't surprised - more I would say we were gratefully caught off guard. We have come to expect things like this but God never ceases to amaze us!



Anyways we built a table, and the next night we ate on it.

It seats twelve and that's how many people came for dinner that night...




Praise the Lord

Pumpkin Carving Party!

Early last week, our realtor, Dave Dalzell, dropped off 8 pumpkins with a note saying, "Have fun carving some pumpkins with the neighborhood kids." Thanks, Dave, for those words and those pumpkins! They sat on our patio for a few days, and every time we passed them, our dream for how to use them expanded. I guess the Lord really wanted us to do a pumpkin carving party, because a few days after receiving the pumpkins, we received a box full of food for the kiddos - party food like oatmeal cream pies and capri suns. Then Josh talked to Jim, a guy from his church who owns a farm down in Buffalo Gap, who invited us to bring the kids down to his farm. The Lord throws way better parties than we do, so when we saw him putting this one together, we got pretty excited.

The only thing left to get together was the guests. Our plan was to walk around the neighborhood with Kendrick and Denise the night before to tell kids about it, but dinner ran late, and it was dark before we got to it. I was pretty bummed about this, thinking that all the other stuff the Lord had prepared was going to go to waste and that the party would be a failure. So I went out to the park in the middle of our hood and just turned it over to the Lord. He showed me an image of us just standing outside our house watching a wall of kids coming towards us. So I felt at peace about it as I went to bed on Friday.

On Saturday morning, we went down to Kendrick's house at around 9 o'clock. We had told everyone who we had gotten a chance to talk to that we would meet at our house at 10am to carpool down to the farm, so we figured we would try to meet up with Kendrick a little before that to go around and tell some more kids. We knocked at his door repeatedly, but there was no answer. We just kind of stood there, not really knowing what to do. I was thinking of the comforting image from the Lord the night before, so when Josh said, "Man, let's just pray that the Lord brings some kids," I was definitely on board. So we stopped right where we were on the street near Allelon house and prayed. When we got back, Angel was at our house waiting for us! We told her about the party, and she went home to get her nine year old, Jerrod. That's one kid! A few minutes after that, we found Kendrick; and within 30 minutes we were piling 7 kids and several of us into a few cars to head down to the farm!

That day was filled with so much joy! The Lord put the whole thing together, from the pumpkins to the food to the farm to the kids. We just got to enjoy His spirit being poured out on all of us as we rested in His true life.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the outing:

I'm helping Jerrod and Allenia while Aaron and Kim help Bobby.

Stephanie, Allenia, and Poon pet Mr. Jim's baby donkey.

Bobby was hungry!

So were Stephanie and Tarneshia!

Stephanie looking precious.

A little ornithophobic. Luckily Candace was there!

Possibly my favorite photo ever. If you've never seen joy before, this is what it looks like.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Word

In the middle of our house we have an old sliding glass door. When the living room got extended it never got removed, so now we have what looks like a big aquarium on one side of our house. This is the room where we have the piano and all the guitars. For this reason we do a lot of our house praising in there. Also because the window is seethrough we bought some markers a couple of months ago, so that people could write prayers and encouragments on it. People in the house wrote things like: "May Jesus be Praised" "Love is supreme" "Your love never fails it never gives up it never gives out on me." but over the course of the last month the kids have been writing things as well. The other day we were looking at the things they have written, and we just feel blown away. So here's the word of the lord from Cockerell Dr:

He loves us

- Moo Moo


He Loves us and he will always love us in the house of the lord

- Allenia


Jesus loves you

-Allenia


Only love comes to the house of the lord, if not dont think about coming to the house of the lord. Amen.

- Moo Moo


Allenia loves Jesus and he love us too

- Allenia


Denise Love you all and Jesus do too.

- Denise


Only God can wake you up if you need to, dont ever make plans if you believe that Jesus lives in your house

- Moo Moo


Thank you lord for your living word. Amen.

Seasons

As the seasons change, or so I hear - we don't have many colors as proof down here in Abilene - so do our seasons of life and relationships. As we've come to know some of our new friends some of the more notable events and stories have slowed. But please do not hear me write this with a negative tone. We in the Allelon house remain excited for the growth and depth of relationship to come, only possible through time and God's divine appointment.

We play a fair amount of basketball, football, and tennis with youth from the neighborhood. Some stopped coming around and others took their place. Still new faces spring up each week. Each Monday, someone(s) make it to Moo Moo's football game to root him on as he intercepts countless passes and goosesteps into the end zone for numerous touchdowns. Tomorrow, I hope some of us will take in a gymnastics meet and this weekend there might be some pumpkin carving excitement.

Good things are happening. Relationships molding. Souls interweaving. Some ribbing and wrestling splatter the freshly chilled air with laughter. Everybody learns from everybody, and we wouldn't have it any other way. But continue to stay tuned, for there are more tales to be told including a potential LeCrae concert, a Christmas party, and God knows what else.

We like to thank anyone who reads this for their prayers. They are much solicited and appreciated. Also, since Wes and I posted on the same day, MAKE SURE YOU CONTINUE READING BELOW, for his words are rich, encouraging, and water to a weary soul.

To You, O Lord, I Lift My Soul.

Hear my prayer, O LORD;
let my cry for help come to you.

² Do not hide your face from me
when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.

Sometimes I get discouraged for no reason. It doesn’t make sense: Life is good. I just got back from a great camping trip where I was able to stand in wonder at God’s beautiful creation. School is busy, but manageable. Life in community is crazy, but so rich. Why am I discouraged?

This psalm is the psalm of an afflicted man. I am not afflicted; I am blessed! So why can I feel the weight of these prayers in my marrow as they flow through me and out to the Lord?

My heart is blighted and withered like grass;
I forget to eat my food.

⁵ Because of my loud groaning
I am reduced to skin and bones.

⁶ I am like a desert owl,
like an owl among the ruins.

⁷ I lie awake; I have become
like a bird alone on a roof.

I am surrounded by community, and yet I feel utterly alone. Moments of laughter and joy are immediately quenched by the overwhelming insignificance of all my efforts, all my failures, all my growth. Times of prayer that should be dominated by thanksgiving coming from the lips of one so blessed are filled with weeping. I don’t even know why I am weeping or what would dry up my tears, but when I am most vulnerable, on my face before God, all that comes is lament.

The sun is shining bright in our land, at my school, and in our community, but in my soul it is a dark night. The truth is I am scared of the dark. How do I react when the darkness of my soul seems as arbitrary as the weather – or maybe as hopelessly cyclical as day and night?

But you, O LORD, sit enthroned forever;
your renown endures through all generations.

¹³ You will arise and have compassion on Zion,
for it is time to show favor to her;
the appointed time has come.

¹⁴ For her stones are dear to your servants;
her very dust moves them to pity.

¹⁵ The nations will fear the name of the LORD,
all the kings of the earth will revere your glory.

I will bless the name of the Lord forever. In the brightest day and in the darkest night, I will stand in wonder at his work in the world. Even if I feel utterly alone, the truth is that it is not about me and that God is bringing about a redemption in this world that far supersedes my emotions, and that truth will sustain me.

Somebody asked me what the middle section would be if I were to write a psalm of lament – you know, the part where the psalmist stops whining and talks about the ways that he sees the Lord working that allow him to Praise God in the midst of struggle. Well, here we go:

We have a set of glass sliding doors in Allelon house, so we set out some dry-erase markers so that anyone can write on the glass. One of the kids from the neighborhood wrote “Love is in here” the other day.

The life group I used to be a part of when I attended Beltway is helping my new church prepare Thanksgiving meals for people who wouldn’t be able to afford them otherwise. In this and so many other ways, God is breaking down walls between congregations and denominations and is uniting His Body to be broken bread and poured-out wine in the world.

Josh went to Moo Moo’s football game today. This is the third week in a row he has been there cheering him on. Tomorrow we’re going to Allenia’s program at her school. We’re going to carpool with her family who wouldn’t have been able to go otherwise. Together, as one huge family, we’re going to cheer on a beautiful little girl who we all love.

I bought Jimbo and Debbie some gas today so that they could get to Wichita Falls for his hearing tomorrow morning. We don’t know for sure when or if Jimbo will be back. I’m honestly going to miss him. As they were getting ready to leave, we shook hands at least four times and finally gave each other a hug. He had noticed that I like wearing bandannas, and he pulled one of out of his pocket to give to me – something to remember him by.

Sometime in the next few months, I’m going to stand in for my friend Clarence so that he can marry the woman he loves. It’s been beautiful to watch the Lord bring redemption and forgiveness even through the unimaginable emotional, spiritual, and physical separation of incarceration. He is at work in the darkest prison cell and the darkest corner of my heart.

But you remain the same,
and your years will never end.

²⁸ The children of your servants will live in your presence;
their descendants will be established before you.

*Quotes from Psalm 102 (NIV)

Rights of the Nonviolent

Since our new young friends stopped in a couple weeks ago, they haven't missed a day to stop in. One of my favorite activities to observe Wes read Redwall (by Brian Jacques) to Allenia. The young'ns have noticed the amount of reading material scattered around the house, some Dr. Seuss, some Bible commentary, some classic fictions.

In a moment of (secretly) hopeful humor I offered to read my current selection to him. Thinking it would be over his 11 year old head, as I often read the same paragraph multiple times to breathe in each oozing thought, I inquired, "Hey bro, wanna read this with me?" [fold Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Why We Can't Wait and rotate to showoff]

But before my arrogance could chalk up another point on the board, ignorance blurted out its warning in the form of this adolescent's innocence. "Nah, we're reading that in school," retorted the not-yet-teen. Thinking he was politely passing me off as some freak, I refused to believe him. "Whatever. Wait. Are you serious?"

"Let me see the cover." (What a clever response that would be be, I thought)

I hand him the book.

"Yeah, that's it," he confirms.
"This one, here? This book? By Martin Luther King, Jr.? Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.?"
[Exasperated]"Yes."
"Look again. Why We Can't Wait? In your class? At school?"
"Yeah. We're on like chapter 6 or something." [astonished that I don't believe him]
"Okay. I believe you. That's awesome. Its a really good book."

Now I'm rushing through the book to catch his class so we can talk about it. Civil rights movement conversations with a 6th grader. Rock on.

Enough Theology

Let me preface that this is a confession, and so it may be offensive, but the intent is not harm. Not harm to my self nor to others but rather to be transparent. I am constantly trying to rid my self of pride that centers on my own accomplishments. So here it goes...

Even though I've made a school career out of the subject matter its taken me a long time to reach just a little way, and even all of that is by the grace of God, and most especially in terms of my legalism. How I detest my religious inclinations some times, my pride says "so much to know about God, so much Theology" and the more I have- the prouder I get. The only thing I can really do with all that knowledge is compare it to others. Thats my weakness. What else don't I know? In what way can I extend my knowledge and speech about the unending mysteries of the God that made everything. If he made everything then, yeah, we should have a default inescapable knowledge of him: He who is everywhere, though... he might not be just anywhere.

I cant escape having a theology, as painful as the process can be some times, but there is something more that God wants from me. I say: "God is good, God is Great, God is powerful." God says: "...well yeah, uh huh that's obvious, but do you know me?" Ah, see Josh there is the difference between the apostles and the Pharasees, the difference between the Centurion and the Sadducees, between the sheep and the goats. Jesus doesn't say: "Away from me you never knew about me." He says "Away from me I never knew you." The son reveals him self to those he chooses - enter his gates with thanksgiving in your heart, Josh. That's what I need.

i confess this sin brothers and sisters, of being one who seeks to know about God for my own pride and power.

God doesn't want me to be Theologian so much. (everyone is a theologian)

God wants Theophilons. (friends of God)

Is that me? Am I a friend of God?

"For they are the kind of worshipers the father seeks, God is spirit and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth" John 4:23-24

and understanding is more...

"that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best..." Phil 1:9

because he said

"love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his masters business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from my father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." John 15

I think God wants me to be a lover of him, a friend , not a knower of him.

If I must keep the vocalbulary of "Knowing" in this case "to know" should mean to love him- like in the strength of the verb as found in Hebrew: To know intimately.

Like to whom the book of Acts is written God wants those kind, seeks those kind.

Like Theophilus, Lord make me a Theophilon.


Thanks for listening to this long belated confession.

Let the Little Children Come to Me

Last Thursday we had Randy over again to talk about how things were going. It's always nice to have a different age demographic in the house; it seems to expose the ridiculous nature of our joy, because you see, its only when we become self-aware of our meal time behavior that we realize just how happy we have become in this community. So the community aspect of our ministry is still going strong. Our attempt at outreach had not been so successful over the past week.

On Sunday we tried to invite people over for a neighborhood cookout. Lots of people said they would come - Bubba Green said he would bring a bunch of people....no one came. But we had a large number of hot dogs to live off of for the week. Going into Thursday night, I thought a lot about what we could do differently. One idea Aaron and I had throughout is making food and simply taking it to people's doors. We're still in the stage of just needing to meet people so, you know, anything to do that. Anyways, we're sitting there telling Randy about all of this when a knock sounds on our back door. Only the people we know come to the back door. Usually first time visitors use the front door.

I got up and rushed around the corner and opened the door. Two young children were just standing there looking up at me. An 11 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. They just stared at me. I said "whats up." (the two children shrug) "...want some dinner?" (they shrug) "want to come in?" (emphatically they nod.)

Moo Moo and Allenia

We didn't do a thing to bring them in. They just came.

It's like they knew the kingdom had manifested on their block and so they came. They came to Jesus.

Since that day another 8 kids have come over, three of them completely unconnected to Moo Moo and Allenia. Like Bobby - the same thing happened the first time he came over, and he's only like 6 years old.

I have no idea how we expect to handle the ministry God is sending us without help. We already have more to do than we have time for and its only been a few months. But I know He's going to provide. These kids just showed up after all. His servants will as well.

Tickets Please

"It's gettin' more and more blunt, haven't you noticed?"
Today, God bought two concert tickets.
Not for himself, mind you, but for two of our new neighborhood friends - Allina, age 9, and Moomoo, age 11.
In celebration of our good friend Meredith's birthday, Josh, Wes, and I all bought tickets to the David Crowder Band concert. I arrived at the concert first, so I called Wes and Josh to find out where they were.
"We're ten or fifteen minutes out."
"Awesome. I've got your tickets when you get here."
"But here's the deal. Allina and Moomoo are with us."
"Ok. I'm on it." And I went out to the ticket booth to buy two more tickets. Apparently God thought it was vital that we spend time with these kids, and that they know just how fully He can and will provide for them.
Before I even had time to ask the lady at the ticket counter if I needed cash to buy more tickets, a man barged into the small booth, pointed at me and said, "How many tickets do you need?"
"Uh...two more."
"Here." He handed me Allina and Moomoo's tickets and walked out.
I was so blown away that I simply had to tell someone about what God had just done so randomly.
Ok, so I told several somebodies.
My favorite response, though, was, "It's getting more and more blunt, haven't you noticed?"

Feeding The Poor Feeding Us

This story starts a few stories back, so give me a moment to get there.

The power of love is slowly taking over Abilene, which means that Jesus sightings are increasing. His love is an all consuming fire. What water can quench it? Everything I have ever looked for is satisfied within this man's embrace. It's crazy but true. Even fear is cast to the side in the presence of his love. The current sermon series at church is called Love War. The pastor started off by unveiling a painting of pretty dramatic proportions. One of the church members painted him a modern day, living, breathing image of what Jesus means by "love your enemies." The picture was Jesus kneeling before Osama Bin Laden, washing his feet in front of a restored Twin Towers. His point was this: Osama Bin Laden is one love encounter away from being the next Paul the Apostle. Can you reach the Muslim extremist? I might not be able to, but Osama surely could, and the fact is Osama might - if one follower of the way was willing to lay down their life for him. So why Love War? Because love is its own supernatural power. When human instinct says fight or flight, love says "Here's the other cheek, I forgive you." Supernatural love gets nailed to the cross and says : "Father forgive them, they know not what they do." Supernatural love lets the enemy be one of his twelve closest friends.

Many can overcome the fear of death knowing it is unavoidable, but only love can defeat death, only love removes the fear of living. Not any love - the love that Christ shows us, gives us and wraps us in. This is the kind of love that enables a heart to care for the poor. The only currency that enables a transaction between The Have and Have Nots is love, because its the only thing that a rich man will receive in return.

Having said that, all my favorite praise songs right now have to do with love...
try this one:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f85o-whqDY

After learning this song in particular my life changed pretty drastically. I started singing it all the time. It's a good song musically but it's also so rich in the spirit. It's freedom for my bones, water for my weary soul. You can disagree if you want but I wouldn't recommend it. One day I was walking home with this song stuck in my head, and I was really grabbing hold of the line "Your perfect love is casting out fear." This has got to be the reason Peter determined he could walk on water, even if for a short time. If I saw my savior in the flesh, no obstacle would keep me from him; his love would simply compel me. Its in coming to this kind of love that I've started to understand the early martyrs. Did you know they really wanted to die? It was an honor to be slaughtered for the sake of Christ, and for a moment, on that Friday afternoon, I felt the same way. My path changed its course. Suddenly I found myself walking towards the most dangerous street in our neighborhood. Not just that, but my feet were making their way towards the part of the street that our friend Zelma told us to never go to. Why? I'm not sure, I just felt that love wanted to make an appearance in the heart of a dark and forgotten place.

I stood there for a moment and stretched out my arms, releasing all the love in my body and closing my eyes. My heart beckoned me to approach one of the houses surrounding me. When I opened my eyes I was surprised by what I saw. There was a sign on one of the old beat up houses. It read something like: "Jesus is Lord of the Stevenson neighborhood." Naturally, I walked up to this house and knocked on the door.

"Come in." came a deep and weathered voice. The old screen door with no handle squeaked open. I squinted my eyes and looked in. It wasn't really a house. The building was just one small room. There was a high counter in front of me with a kitchen behind it. A middle-aged African American man wiped the sweat from his eyes as I took a step through the door. The expression on his face said something like: "What on earth is a white boy doing here?" I introduced myself and explained that my roommates and I had recently moved in on Cockerell Dr.

"The name's Riley. I'm the pastor of the mission church here" he said. My Spirit settled as I realized that my life was not going to meet with Christ's as soon as I hoped for. Riley was busy cleaning up a bunch of plates and running them through the sink. It turns out I showed up right at the end of the Thursday lunch program. I think it took a moment for Riley to really believe I was there, and maybe even the rest of the day after our meeting to believe that we really moved into the hood, but, in any case, I invited him over for dinner some time. It was good getting to know Riley that night he came over. He's T Dog's uncle, one of our high school friends that hangs out with John. It was good to hear his take on the area.

After dinner we offered our service to Pastor Riley in any way we could help. Almost instantly he was in, and in moments we were planning what we could bring for the next Thursday lunch program. As Riley left, a communal sigh of relief went up from our souls. We had prayed for more opportunities to serve our hood, and feeding the needy is the thing we enjoy the most. We love to cook in our house, especially together. The interesting thing about our house is that it either has a lot of food in it, or really none at all. We seem to feed a lot of people and eat a lot of left overs. Anyways, planning for our meal took an interesting turn on Tuesday. During a Bible study on the parable of the talents, Wes and I were surprised by a knock on the front door. It was surprising because people usually use the back door. There was a woman holding a couple plastic bags standing at our door. She heard from some one at church what we were doing in our house and the ministry it was bringing, and she wanted to come by and bring some things. She brought bed spreads, cups, plates, canned food, and a few gallons of milk. She stayed just long enough for us to get her name. Angel. Oh, by the way, she has four kids lives with some family and is on WIC, which is a kind of welfare program. She works two jobs, and she even offered to come over and clean our house for us once a week. Right when we get to a place to feel good about the Lord's work in our lives, something comes along to trump out our pride and teach us deeper humility.

Lunch with Riley led me to meet a bunch of the neighbors, and I even got to step foot into the house of all bad houses in the hood. That day is a story all of its own. I'm sure in the future we'll have to back track and weave some of that stuff into a post, but at the end of the day, my mind kept coming back to this: Feeding the Poor Feeding Us?

This kingdom is so upside down.

I love it.

"Our lion is a lamb that did more with love than war ever will." - Prayer tent

The Much-Talked-About Green Tie

Here's a picture of the intricate handiwork of our good friend Dan. "If you're patient, good things come."

What does Love require?

A few hours ago, I changed my Facebook status. I know, big news - definitely worthy of a blog post. I posted one of those chain things, telling everyone who reads my status to post some memory that they have of us. My Uncle Mark posted a cool memory but then also messaged me another, somewhat less appropriate memory just for fun. It was very considerate of him not to post it where everyone could see, but since it makes a great beginning for what I want to talk about, I'm going to post it here where everyone can read it.

You were ~4 - you and I were up in Gramma's apartment. You went into the restroom. Now you were VERY intelligent, and therefore a bit precocious. You were in there an inordinant amount of time, so I thought that your mother ought to know if you were having difficulty, so when you came out, I asked you, "when you were in there, did you just empty out your bladder, or did you make a BM?" You informed that the latter was the case. I then asked you, "Was it runny?" "NO!" you vehemently informed me. I continued working at her small table, while you went over to play with toys in her living room. Not too much later, I felt a tug on my clothing. You looked up at me and said, "Uncle Mark, if, when you SAY, "runny"... (I felt that my use of words was being corrected) ...if you MEAN "JUIT-SEY," it WAS!"

This story is funny and a bit embarrassing, and it got me thinking about how often I corrected people as a child. It was a terrible habit. Whether or not I knew what I was talking about, I always felt the need to put in my two cents, to prove my wits or intelligence. I wish I could say that it was just something I did when I was really young, but the truth is it chased me all through high school and college, this need to prove myself, to be heard and respected - this need to be right.

The more I live and learn, the more I realize how little I actually know, and, even more, how little the little that I know actually matters. Knowledge is a wonderful thing; understanding even better. But Love is far superior to them both. I mourn when I think of all the times I have sacrificed Love in my quest to be right and to let the world know about it. It is a sad result of trying to find my identity in others, when God is longing to fulfill me with His love.

And He has been teaching me more and more over the past few years, in a variety of ways, to hold my tongue. He showed me the immense value of listening. I mean, when I really listen to people, a hold new world is opened up to me. I am able to see things and hear things that I never could when I was just thinking about how I was going to respond. And listening is itself a ministry, one of the most important. The truth is, everyone needs to be heard, to put themselves out into the world and find that someone cares enough to stop and listen. So I try to listen now, and most of the time I don't do a very good job. But sometimes I really hear people, their hearts, their hurts, their struggles and joys, and in those moments I am more fulfilled and secure in who I am in Christ than after any won argument or well-made point.

Randy, one my professors, taught a weekly chapel last year called "Living Out the Sermon on the Mount." We focused on some simple, practical ways to live out the radical way of Christ. I remember one day he challenged us with this goal for the week: "Speak only what Love requires." I won't say I succeeded by any means, but my conversations that week were transformed by the idea of submitting to Love in all things. I have made that my constant goal now, to speak only what love requires. Most of the time in means not talking, and occasionally it means speaking up with boldness when few would dare. Always it means loving people with my silence and my speech.

I'm so blessed to be in community with guys who live this out everyday, guys like Ben and Josh and Aaron. They care deeply about people, and it challenges me to see what they see and hear what they hear.

All that said, I still have a big mouth. I still often speak when love doesn't require that I say anything. I still speak out of selfish ambition numerous times everyday. I'm sure that some of you reading this have talked to me at some point and felt that I wasn't really listening. But God is doing a work in my heart. He is teaching me who I am in Him. He is teaching me to be still and rest in him, to be calm and completely fulfilled in him. He is teaching me to die to myself in the big ways and the small ways, in the conversations and the career plans. Praise be to God! Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew and right spirit within me.

Unlocked

Some neat things have been happening with the people of this community. During Summit, Ben spoke to a plethora of people generally unfamiliar with the New Monastic lifestyle. Ungodly amounts of people have been fed during lunches and dinners with simple meals affectionately referred to as Yam Slam, Speedy Gonzales, and the like. Professors and general contributing members of society have gathered around to speak and give on behalf of the work happening on Cockerell Dr. Excitement spreads with each new conversation. New ways of growing together fall out of our mouths every day. Chats with a neighborhood pastor lead to opportunities in which we join with him in digging deeper into the lives of these new friends. Unanticipated connections and acquaintances add to our intrinsic efforts. Doors to buildings once thought abandoned have begun to unlock.

But its not all fun and games. Forgive me for the sober face tonight but a new understanding of brokenness steals at my jovial, self-sufficient ministry face. This morning as I strode bountifully out the house door on my way to Ben's much anticipated lecture, something lacked. The chill of fall air anticipated my emotion and dried my eyes before I had time to whimper at the sight of a drooping bicycle lock. As though saddened by the loss of a long time companion, the lock lay draped lifeless over the frigid link of gray, weathered fence. I think I saw a tear drop as it shivered in the isolating wind. I approached only to comfort the foggy-eyed fastener and ask, "What happened?" only to receive back a mumbled, sniffling whisper lost in the breeze. The night had witnessed it all. Alas, without words I noticed my once secure friend had been abused and broken. The sight shouted louder than words. The best consolation I could muster up sounded like "It'll be okay... shh, shh. It'll be okay," as we shuffled back inside the house.

Though the bicycle had been wooed away by another lover, I understood that this would not be the only time our hearts will be broken on this journey down Cockerell Dr. It is not the lack of its presence I pine for, but instead the forgotten forgiveness that, I lament, cannot now be poured out. I would like to meet this Casanova if only to wish them well together, and perhaps pass along the gift of a hearty lock to keep her safe. Seriously.

I can deal with a lack of bicycle. Its a material possession; who cares. What I found more disconcerting was my feeling of personal violation. My privacy had been infringed upon, and it scared me. Though I must admit my giddiness has transformed into reverence and reality. It revealed to me how our time here will not be all encouraging stories. Sometimes we will be hurt. This occasion exemplifies, even in its frivolity, that we will not always have good met with open hearts. We will pour out only to be taken advantage of. If that's what it takes, let us be exploited as we scourged and spat on the Lord himself.

May they see the love He has in our forgiveness whether we are allowed the opportunity to offer it or not. May the doors to the Kingdom be unlocked that we may eat with thieves and vagabonds, prostitutes and proselytes, poor and prosperous alike.

A Green Tie Affair

There’s no such thing as a normal dinner at the house on Cockerell Dr. The thing about having an open door is that anyone can walk in; and when you’ve been praying that they will, they often do.

So let me set the scene for you. At the head of the table is Dan, a homeless guy who has been living under the I-20 bridge. At the foot of the table is Randy, a college professor. On the sides of the table are four kids who don’t know what they’re doing (that’s us) but have been praying to a God who definitely does. Already the testimonies of what God has done represented at that table were enormous.

First there is the incredible way that God brought the four of us together, which is another story for another time. Let it suffice to say that though none of us were sure exactly what we were looking for, we knew we had found it when, about a year ago, God began to bring together what is now the Allelon community. Then he provided Randy to walk with us and share in what God is doing in us. Like I said, we are a bunch of kids that don’t know what we’re doing, but God is watching out for us. He knew we needed someone older and wiser to walk with us along this road.

Then there is the testimony of how God brought Dan to our table. Earlier that day, Josh was praying that God would lead him to His treasure. You can read a more complete account of that treasure hunt here, but basically God led him to Dan. Josh offered to give Dan the money that he had on him, but Dan refused. Instead, Dan pulled out a dollar bill – this was about 10% of his life savings at the time – and made a dollar-bill bow tie, which he gave to Josh. Josh figures this was about the most expensive gift he had ever received. Anyways, Josh invited him to dinner, and we picked him up at about six o’clock.

As Randy and I finished up with the cooking, Aaron, Josh, and Ben were visiting with Dan. Dan insisted on making another dollar bill bowtie, which we gratefully accepted. It now sits on the marker holder of our prayer request board, a reminder to pray for Dan and for generous hearts.

Dinner was cooked, and there we were, sitting around a skillet of stir-fry and a bowl of rice. As we were serving up, Dan was sharing a funny experience he had while hitchhiking. At the same time, he was loading up his plate of stir-fry with a hot siracha sauce. By the end of the meal, we would all be enjoying a laugh with Dan as sweat poured from his face. He said, over and over, “That shit is mean right there. Fo’ shore. I swear it is. That ain’t for no boy. That stuff is real mean.”

Anyone who has been homeless will tell you that one of the hardest things about it for a lot of people is having no one to talk to you. People pass by with averted gaze, or worse with a look of disgust. Others are eager to talk or preach, but uninterested in listening.

As Dan sat at the head of our table, stroking his epic beard and wiping siracha-induced perspiration from his brow, the one gift we had to give was our ears. The funny thing is, we were considerably more blessed by the stories Dan shared with us than he could ever be by our food or money. He needed someone to listen, and we needed to hear his stories and see his smile. I guess it could be said that in some way, we were made for Dan and he for us. Of course the truth is we are all made for each other, and the key to life is finding out how we fit together with the Lord as our center and guide.

I would have been content with that guest list, already in awe of the ways that God works; but God was throwing this party, and other invitations had been sent out long before we even knew each other or moved into Allelon house.

The Saturday before, Josh had been having coffee with Kyle when the phone rang. The number was listed as Withheld, and at first Josh wasn’t going to answer it; but then he looked up at Kyle, and they both felt like he was supposed to answer the phone. On the other end of the line was Matt. He was trying to reach someone named James. Josh said he didn’t know anyone by that name and that Matt must have the wrong number. Then, in a moment of divine inspiration, he asked Matt, “Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

At first, Matt’s response was exactly what you would expect. “Who are you?” After all, it isn’t every day that a wrong number asks you to coffee. But after a moment, Matt agreed to meet up with Josh sometime. They were going to grab lunch on Monday, but something came up. So, instead, Josh asked him to dinner at the house.

When Matt showed up to the bizarre scene that evening, it was like he was coming home. That night, for that meal, that table was God’s table, so Matt really was coming to the table of his Father. He walked in, and it was like God had brought him there to share his testimony. Even before getting food, he launched into an incredible account of God’s love and faithfulness. It involved everything from drug addiction to being chased by the Mexican Mafia. All the time, God was pursuing Matt. Finally, when Matt was at his lowest point, in a rehab facility in San Angelo, God revealed himself to Matt in a vision. That day, he received Christ as his savior. Now he is working to start a non-profit in Abilene to help people recovering from all sorts of addictions.

It would be impossible to share all the ways that God poured out His love on us that evening. It was a green-tie affair – where the currency of the empire was made into silly bowties and the currency of the Kingdom was dealt out in abundance. The Spirit of the Lord was thick in that room, filling our hearts with love and awe at the power of our God. There was a lot of laughter, and a lot of encouragement. Relationships were built that none of us could ever have imagined. Most of all, God showed again just how faithful He is to pour out His spirit on those who seek His face.

I remember sitting at that retro, green table, with the evening sun streaming in through the blinds, and thinking to myself that I was having true communion for the first time in my life.